A vent in the Delirium

A very long time ago I saw this silly rom-com movie about how a couple believes in destiny and lets fate decide whether they should be together or not. It seemed like fantasy and blatant misuse of creative liberty. Years later, I find my life changed by a phone call and serendipitously I find my destiny.  Happenstance Having been a freebird all my life, I gave in to the prospect of societal contract of marriage out of the sheer disdain of being the third wheel to my married friends for the rest of my life. Little did my mere human existence know that what originated from submission would result in the magical discovery of this profound love. I still don't know when or how it happened but it started on the magical night of 9th December 2021. The conversation which started with - " Are you chat or call kind of person? " lead to, over an hour long call and ended with "laga hi nahi it was first time talking to you" . Since that day my feelings are defined by you. H...

I took a pause in life and realized. I have already lived the best part of my life . I could not believe at first that before hitting 30 years in life, the best was already over. Then saw some photos of the past and looked at all those glorious years pass me by. It all came rushing in after that – life indeed is a nine days’ wonder. When did it all get over? When did it start? Was it I who changed? Or everything else around me? Could I have stopped it? These questions leave me baffled. It frustrates me that I, being the sole proprietor of my life, have no clue as to when I lost its most precious riches. The only thing I know now is that I am not getting it back. I was so busy in the daily, mundane, repetitive, boring race towards death that I never realized this ever happening. I am writing this blog as a eulogy to that great time spent with so many friends. Friends who lived together, who traveled across India together, who partied every other day - got hung over every day,...

One of the most popular post on social media on Mother’s day is the one proclaiming that each day is a Mother’s day and one day is not enough. But the irony is that this post is visible only on Mother’s day. The true realization of the post has come a little late for me. I never denied the importance of the sacrifices that are made by mothers but neither did I stop and took note of all the small and huge sacrifices made for me. I was too happy in my little world with no responsibilities and unbound freedom. All the talk of self-made, independent individuals is a myth. We are all but a sum of the sacrifices of a lot of individuals. Above all our mothers. Seeing my brother raise a child has made me aware of how impossibly difficult a job it is. Managing work as well as home along with two kids seems to be an impossible task. But this is something my mother has done all her life. Midway through this difficult task of raising us up, she was also dealt a painful blow. One that p...

Our group of friends shifted hostels in the second year and took rooms close to each other and the friendship grew stronger from there with each passing day. Thus was born x0x-ers (3, 4 – 0 – 1, 3) i.e. rooms 301,303,401 and 403. We spent countless hours planning trips, parties, discovering music and other random shit. Goa is a destination every college group plans to visit during their college days. This was one trip we just had to make. After hundreds of hours spent on planning the trip, many last minute changes and one person pulling out we finally managed to make the trip with a bunch of our European friends joining us there for what would be the most memorable trip of my life. I as a writer am incapable of putting in words the sheer fun we had on this trip so most of you would not realise how beautiful some of the moments were. Day 1 I arrived before everyone else travelling from Mumbai. Riding 30 km on a scooter solo from Madgaon to Calungute was a sign o...

Someone who recently read my blog made a remark - "2011 was a good year for you (your blog)". There is a lot in common between the year 2015 and 2011 for me. 2011 was the last year of my engineering and this is the last year of my MBA. These two have also been the most significant and undoubtedly the best periods of my life. Aptly then, the expression of solitude (blog ID) and a vent in the delirium (blog name) happens when these good things come to an end. Ending is painful, specially when the last bits have been the best so far. The worst part is, that you can't do anything about it. It is like a slow death when you see yourself dying in front of your eyes. You know that you are a student for the last time, like the very last time, ever in your life. You can live another 60-70 years and still probably these will be the last times you had so much fun with so little resources and so many friends. The world outside is scary. It is judgmental. It expects from you. It...

We have come a long way from the days when computers existed only in labs isolated from the outside world. Today we are talking about internet of things and ubiquitous computing with computers all around us from refrigerators to cars. One company which has been a part of our world throughout this fast paced transformation of technology has been Microsoft . It made computing simple. Computers existed for a long time but it became a part of our lives only with Windows. Technology without accessibility is of no use and Microsoft’s greatest contribution to this society has been making computing accessible to all. My first interaction with a computer was in school. I vividly remember going to “Computer Lab” with our shoes off in long queues. It was the only place with an air conditioner on campus. The computer-lab day on the timetable was the most awaited day for the students. It was also our first introduction to Microsoft. We learned that the system in itself is just a...

The human mind is hungry for reason - a reason for every failure. The lust for reason demands justification for everything that happens to them. But so many times things happens because someone was at a wrong place, at a wrong time or with a wrong person. There isn't a reason to explain why every time it's you who has to slog to achieve small things in life while your friends have had it so easy in their lives. Why is it that you had to support your family while others were enjoying their lives? Why is it that in the same world some don't have enough to afford a meal a day while others are spending lakhs to fight obesity? Why is it that for some sex is the ultimate pleasure while for others it's their only means to support family? The irony is that the world is after establishing a just and fair society in an inherently unfair natural environment. There is no parameter to decide what fair actually is. Is death sentence a fair deal for Nirbhaya's rapists? I...

Social media and its inhabitants, the "netizens", are a prominent force in today's world. They have exerted their influence in reviving a few dying careers, making super hits and igniting revolutions. The power that the online medium possesses is immense and the biggest reason is its openness. Netizens are not bounded by territory, nationality or any such biases of the physical world. This gives social media the power to distribute information to millions of people across the world at a rate which is unimaginable by any other medium. These potentials of social media, however, have seldom been utilized for social reforms. Majority of social media reforms have been for political change or pure entertainment. Social media's first prominent use in political reform was probably in 2009-10 Iranian election protests when after the controversial election of Ahmedinejad and subsequent ban on media meant that all news that came from the country was through the social medi...

There is this interesting talk you hear sometimes in your grad college about " increasing your visibility ". I am pretty sure for all of us it is just an interesting talk, no one gets a hang of what it really is all about. It takes you some time either in your job or post-grad to realise how important this concept really is and how some of your classmates used it so well to succeed in your grad college. The earlier you understand this concept, the easier it is for you in your life. It doesn't come natural to some people and others who master this concept benefit at their cost. This might seem like some cheap tactics to achieve personal gains but in reality it is a part of the culture and as much a reality as office politics. Thus it is more of a skill which is a part of an individual's personality. The real professional life is governed by many such personality driven factors and not just by knowledge. A good visibility, rapport and network is as much an asset...

For long we have debated the rural urban divide that exists in our nation and how this might bring the nation to collapse. But this repeated conditioning of our mind has veiled the unity that exists between the cities and the mofussils. There are threads that bind the two together and the sufferings are similar on both sides. This union can be seen as a very attractive segment by marketeers and politicians alike. It is important that we start looking at people beyond differences in castes, language or geographies. India might be a land of great diversities but the pain and sorrow of the poor is fairly constant everywhere. Pain can be a much stronger uniting factor than any other. This common thread of sorrow and despair among the poor was the major factor responsible for catapulting an year old party to power. The party looked at urban and rural poor with the same eye. The problems in the life of poor in the country are same irrespective of their place of residence. There is rea...

The latest fad in town is all about the Aam Aadmi Party and its poster boy Arvind Kejriwal. But what is much more important than the party is this concept of a more representative form of decision making. There is a limit to the tolerance of people and the rupture after the pent up silence was bound to shake a few things. The Big Bang moment in Indian politics will not last forever and there must be a plan to sustain this momentum in the future. The common man on the other hand should also manage there expectations and realise that this is not magic solution to all of our problems. The biggest problem in front of AAP at the moment is to manage this huge momentum it is carrying forward. They are in a situation similar to a start-up that has seen phenomenal growth but is finding it difficult to maintain the quality at that scale. Managing such explosive growth is just as difficult as managing failure. This is going to be the deciding phase in the history of AAP. They could become ...

It feels so helpless to write something original when all you do every time is Google stuff. When googling is the only inspiration you have had for the past few months then you really have to look deep inside to come up with something original. I wish I could develop some optimal path algorithm to reach back to my originality. But the mechanical me soon realizes that its not quite possible in this domain. In this mechanical world where people work only on numbers, be it- the marks, the deadlines or the count of their likes, it is hard to find an inspiration. How do you differentiate between a bunch of individuals who have very little to separate them? Everyone's running the same mad race that has a finishing line no one knows about. Just that some proclaim to have won it while the others are made to believe their loss. In this madness the outcasts make for a good inspiration. At least they have their own way in the madness. Thus to break the shackles and come out of this m...

A man wants to be a free bird, not bound by the constraints of time, money or geographies but in trying to push one of the constraints he gets more strangled by the others. This forms a sort of an impossible trinity or the unattainable Nirvana that everyone dies reaching. I, however, find myself bounded by concrete walls, confined to a small geography. It's amazing how your world shrinks to a 6 acre plot when you do not have enough time on your hand. This life has exposed the fragility of my concrete resolutions. It's impossible to do everything in life especially when you have so many passions. It is easier to be a master of one than being the jack of all. Prioritizing is the key but very difficult to achieve. I have not been able to prioritize at all and am always playing catching up. A very popular way to prioritize is in order of the opportunity cost of each alternatives but the practical use of this concept is just as alien to me as the others. In this mad rush...

Rumor by weight is a very light object to lift, fairly easy to pass around, but very difficult to put back again. In a recent chain of events in Muzaffarnagar (a town situated 130 kms from Delhi) what started off as an episode of harassment of a Hindu girl, fed by retaliation from the girl's brothers culminated as a full fledged communal riot. An event  well orchestrated by the political parties to suit their vested interests in which, according to official records, 48 unfortunate people have died. What was achieved? What purpose it served? Which side ‘won’? These are the questions which will never be answered. What we can be certain about is that all those who have died from both communities were poor people, too weak to defend themselves. People who lived in slums were easy targets for a maniac mob advancing with grievous steps towards them. Whenever there is a brawl, even the strongest of oppressor looks for the weakest of adversary to prove his mettle .No David d...

Nathaniel Hawthorne from the book The Scarlet Letter remarked, “No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”   We all wear masks. We pretend to become the person, the people around us will like. It is said that we display our true self when we are under a guise. What if it’s the other way around? What if the disguise is a way to mask our true feelings? How many of us want any of us to see us as we really are? We become the person that the others want us to see. Taking the popular scenario when friends and strangers come visiting.. What do we do? Straighten the cushions, kick the books under the bed and put away the letter you were writing?  We put on our social face . During all this, we forget to be the real us. In fact we forget whether we have a real self at all since we are constantly playing different roles and responsibilities. That is why “Tell m...

Wikipedia puts excellence as “ Excellence  is a talent or quality which is unusually good and so surpasses ordinary standards.” These ordinary standards are surpassed by a continuous extraordinary effort and dedication. Thus being Excellent is a long process and not an end-result. It’s important that we realize this because most people around us are looking at the results. The results don’t make people excellent, the process does. A Vinod Kambli or Abhishek Bacchan wasn’t in the excellent league for this precise reason while Sachin Tendulkar or Nawazuddin Siddique are in that list. They made some extraordinary efforts to finally achieve what they have. Since excellence lies in the process, it’s imperative that you choose the path that excites you and something that you are passionate about. A Sachin would have made a dismal actor and a Nawazuddin would have been a pathetic cricketer. Most of us have deprived ourselves any chance of excellence as we are busy doing things ...

Ours is a nation with the largest young population the world. This youth of our nation today is full of aspirations. We have built several stories around them and announced ourselves as the future superpower of the world. All these prophecies are based on the growing GDP of our nation, which is just a number, hardly indicative of the living standard of the citizens. The country is rife with scams; there is utter distrust in the ruling class and lack of dynamic leaders. Within the last two decades we have seen tremendous growth in the country. The IT sector has seen a boom and purchasing power of people have increased many-fold. We are also home to the largest under 25 population in the world. This population has seen this growth in front of them and hence is full of desires and aspiration. But this quench for success has largely remained unfulfilled for a large section of this population. Unemployment and underemployment is what has engulfed this generation. The sudden ...