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Serendipity

A very long time ago I saw this silly rom-com movie about how a couple believes in destiny and lets fate decide whether they should be together or not. It seemed like fantasy and blatant misuse of creative liberty. Years later, I find my life changed by a phone call and serendipitously I find my destiny. 


Happenstance

Having been a freebird all my life, I gave in to the prospect of societal contract of marriage out of the sheer disdain of being the third wheel to my married friends for the rest of my life. Little did my mere human existence know that what originated from submission would result in the magical discovery of this profound love. I still don't know when or how it happened but it started on the magical night of 9th December 2021. The conversation which started with - "Are you chat or call kind of person?" lead to, over an hour long call and ended with "laga hi nahi it was first time talking to you". Since that day my feelings are defined by you. Happiness is being near you, talking to you, thinking of you. 

“Love starts as a feeling, but to continue is a choice. And I find myself choosing you, more and more every day.”

The Roller Coaster

This should be a very easy story to tell—words should come easily and it should be simple for me to tell you how desperately happy I am always with you. Feelings so pure that all it needed was voice and emotions to fall in love. I can't possibly explain in words the emotional ride that the last 80 odd days have been. It has seen rainbow of emotions more diverse than my whole life before that. 

Often I ask myself: 

Is this normal? 
Is this how destiny works? 
Am I really this lucky? 
Is it really happening?
What did I do wrong?
Is it ending?
Is it all over?
What are all these emotions I have never felt before? 
How can you love someone so much you fail to explain?

Through all the lows on this rollercoaster, I only realise how fierce my love is for you. The fights, the arguments don't weaken our bond, it only makes them stronger. 

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. ”

Forever After

The things I write here are nothing new. But I still struggle to find ways to assure you that what we have is special and worth fighting for. 

There will be moments when I hurt you, when we fight, when we don't talk, when we stay apart, when we have doubts, when we cry, when we feel low, when we have nothing to say, when we feel angry, when we feel tired, when we feel lost, when we feel miserable, when we feel disappointed, when we feel heartbroken but my love there is only one forever after and mine is with you. 

"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved you with all my heart and soul; and to me, this will always be enough.”

Love,
Ishan

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